This past month has been hard on me physically; anyone who has ever had mononucleosis (mono) can probably attest to it being a real kick in the arse. Strangely, in some ways it feels like my period of illness has allowed me to slowly realign myself. I tend to feel very removed from my own life, to feel like the currents of life are just pushing my passive form along to wherever, but as I recover from the mono and other accompanying ailments I have felt a much stronger sense of intentionality about my life.
As part of my continuing recovery, I decided to attend a short energy healing session at Holistic Care Approach that I had attended a few times before over the last couple years. This session felt quite different from the others in that I felt more open to receiving help in the form of energy, and that changed the tone of the experience drastically. Often after an energy healing people talk about how much “lighter” they feel. My experience is that it makes me feel heavier but not in a negative way; I feel more anchored in my own body, in my own place. It seems like I have developed the habit of avoiding syncing my energy with my physical body for various reasons, so the process of healing and realignment brings to me a sense of fully-embodied vigor.
After the guided meditation energy healing, a trip to my favorite park seemed in order. The sun was already pretty well set as I was driving home, so the park was thoroughly immersed in the darkness of twilight when I got there. Something that I had been missing all year was the presence of bats hunting in the evening. It seemed like I saw them much more often last year and in much lighter hours, causing me to worry if this past harsh winter had severely impacted their numbers. Relief washed over me as I walked beneath their shadowy, darting forms in the fading yellow-green light. The moon is currently waxing to just past half full (1st Quarter Moon.. half full = Quarter moon.. not very intuitive terminology), making plenty of light in the clear night sky to see my moonlit shadow beside me as I walked.
Upon reaching the lookout point, I had hopes of spotting a deer or a fox in the fields below. No such luck, however. It was nice to just stand for a moment watching the magical, winking firefly lights over the grasses and sleeping flowers. I felt blessed just to have the strength to go on this walk after being so weak the last fortnight.
Although summer feels like it passed much too quickly and murmurs of another strong winter lie ahead, I embrace this liminal twilight as we approach the Autumn Equinox.